Molly's Space

i was alone thinking i was just fine

i wasn't looking for anyone to be mine

i thought that love was just a fabrication

a train that wouldn't stop at my station

home, alone, that was my consignment, solitary, confinement

so when we met, i was getting around you

i didn't know i was looking for love until i found you

i didn't know i was looking for love until i found you

今天很有意思，下班后老板和我聊起了他的初恋以及现在的婚姻。一个四十岁的男人，说着他的幸福生活，说着说着双眸渐渐湿润起来，那种幸福感仿佛也瞬间流动到我的全身。一直认为，生活不是件容易的事，我欣赏那些靠自己白手起家为实现梦想打拼未来的人，每每看到他们久经考验如愿所偿之时，都会感动地落泪。

恋爱其实是件很容易的事，婚姻其实不是终点，而是一切的开始，等待两人的是一段很长很长的路要彼此搀扶一起走过。很多人都会问你找对象的标准是什么？其实根本就不存在什么标准或是要求，一旦两人情投意合，只要对方健健康康，平平安安就好。

还记得去年的6月27日，我毕业了，那时还笑称自己同时拿到了两个bachelor，转眼已走过一年的时光了。脑中的很多记忆都是随着我的毕业时光慢慢鲜活起来的，这一年无论是欣喜，还是悲酸，我都在用心努力地生活；无论心情有多么地上天入地，我希望当再次面临抉择的时候，我能更加淡定，更加成熟。

下面是珍妮佛安妮斯顿跟布拉德皮特离婚时说的一段话，真的是至理名言。

“每段关系都有漩涡和波浪，有时很艰难，有时很宁静，有时充满乐趣。最艰难的时刻往往是你想追求一种完美的境界，但那是可笑而不现实的。婚姻最神奇之处在于，在经过了那么多漩涡和波浪后，站在你身边的还是同一个人，你仍然深切地感受到，自己爱着对方。每次争执，总能让你们重新相遇，重新相知，重新相爱，在婚姻中，你们再展开一段新的婚姻，如此永远延续，没有终点。这就是我喜欢婚姻的原因，也是我希望从婚姻中得到的。但是很不幸，我们生活在一个任性的时代里，一遇到问题，首先想到的就是‘糟糕，过不下去了’，那是最重要、决定性的时刻，因为一旦有了这种想法，人们自然而然就签订了离婚协议，他们不知道，自己已经错过互相迁就、互相认错、重新证明爱情的机会，那才是最美好的。但是很遗憾，这不是他的婚姻观。我们的观点完全不同，若观点根本不一致，就无法勉强继续一段关系。我希望获得的是灵魂深处最忠诚的关系，但是他有权选择另一种形式，于是他选择分手。”

原文“It’s like the ebb and flow of every relationship,” Aniston says. “It’s hard; it gets easy; it gets fun again. What’s hard to sustain is some ideal that it’s perfect. That’s ridiculous. What’s fantastic about marriage is getting through those ebbs and flows with the same person, and looking across the room and saying, ‘I’m still here. And I still love you.’ You re-meet, reconnect. You have marriages within marriages within marriages. That’s what I love about marriage. That’s what I want in marriage. It’s unfortunate, but we live in a very disposable society. Those moments where it looks like ‘Uh-oh, this isn’t working!’—those are the most important, transformative moments. Most couples draw up divorce papers when they’re missing out on an amazing moment of deepening and enlightenment and connection.”

到底什么可以永久？一颗坚定的心？一份真挚的情？

到底什么是真爱？真爱可以永久吗？如果不能，那我们还在期待着什么…

到底为了那些不能放弃的，我们究竟放弃了什么？

每天工作，每天忙碌，生活为的是什么？

当脑中的回忆比今后的路还要长，当内心的声音已然有了对未来的答案，那我们还拿什么来支撑着前进？

好想离开现在的环境，离开这座城市，重新开始一段孤身在外的日子。

常听朋友说，“一切都会好起来的”，自己也曾经不只一次地对朋友说，“一切都会好起来的”。然而当有些事自己亲身经历过了，那些歌里唱的、书里写的才分外真切、直达心底。

不知怎的，现在越来越相信宿命论的观点了，越来越相信有得必有失。而每每想到这里，内心就惶恐起来，上天已经给我许多了，我也已经得到太多太多的了，那是不是真正想要的就得不到了呢？有得必有失吗？

想要离开，但是离开不了。那我能做什么呢，唯有告诉自己再坚强一点，对自己再说一遍a za a za fighiting~~

也许我会再遇见你

像恋人般重逢美丽

看你满脸胡渣的笑意 爽朗一如往昔

C’est La Vie~~

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

古埃及年轻的将军爱上了已为奴隶的敌国国王的女儿，于是忠诚与背叛，爱情与战争就在这中间纠结，然而两人最终难逃悲剧的命运，只不过音乐剧给了观众一个浪漫的结局，让两人的转世在几个世纪后再度相遇，来续写未完的情缘。

本该是以欣赏音乐为主的，但内心总禁不住会去感慨主人公的遭遇，想起了前阵子手机报纸上的一段话—“不要让自己的理智和感情赛跑，适得其反的是越克制理智，感情就越一路领先”，又想起了《Becoming Jane》是所谓的理智让两人分开，也成就了最后那虽有些感伤却十分美好的一幕…如果要我选择的话，或许我会选择后者…但是前提是我已经在用我的理智在思考…

当然，不得不说音乐剧中的每一首歌都非常好听,“Every story is a love story”, “How I know you”, “The Gods love Nubia”…首首都是那么引人入胜，直达人心，给我两个月的等候一个很享受的回报。哦，对了，还有阿珂的陪伴，也很享受很享受，嘿嘿~~